The Beginning
I grew up in a world of snow (in the state of Michigan), and that was most natural for me until I arrived in the South. Where had all of the snow gone?
My introduction to school in the South had a bit of a learning curve. For example, the other kids in school asked me one day to say something. I would ask them back “What do you want me to say?” I was puzzled by their question. They would say “Just say anything.” After I said something that came to mind, they would laugh a little. I just didn’t understand what they were doing and why they thought I had said something funny. It didn’t dawn on me until several months had passed (and a few more “say somethings”) that my accent was different from theirs. A Yankee talks differently than a Southern boy does.
That did not help my self-confidence at all. I wanted to blend in, but I was different (I felt, perhaps different in a bad way).
When we would eat lunch in the school cafeteria, I would use a knife to cut pieces from the chicken. And then I would use a fork to spear the piece. The other kids at the table wondered why I ate that way. They would just grab the chicken leg in one hand and start eating.
That also did not help my self-confidence because I felt that I was doing something wrong. I didn’t act like the others. I even thought at one time that I might have been taught improperly how to eat. But, over time, I adapted and adjusted to their method of eating. A chicken leg in the hand is worth two on the plate?
Gradually, I began to learn how to fit in with the other students.
High School
I continued, grade-after-grade, always feeling a bit of an outsider until I took Chemistry in my junior year. (See My Professional Life for information about my wonderful experience with that.) My good grades with that gave me enough confidence to begin to feel better about myself.
Working
After finishing college, I landed my first real job (not just mowing lawns) and enjoyed it greatly (by living on my own, by learning how to pay bills and handle problems on my own, by earning an income, by learning a new programming language (RPG II), and by getting to know the wonderful people in our small IT department. The job lasted less than two years (because the IT functions were outsourced to a local bank, which apparently did not realize my technical wizardly, and therefore, did not hire me), and we each went our separate ways. That was sad for me since I really liked my boss and coworkers.
I had other jobs, most of which I enjoyed (but as anyone who has worked in IT knows, the hours can be a nightmare sometimes). All-in-all, I am happy to have liked programming because it has provided me with a lot of enjoyment in learning all that technical stuff. I could not have been happier with any other type of work (although sometimes I think that if I had persevered with Chemistry in college, I might have liked that greatly as a profession).
Testing the Ice
In 1977 I wanted to do something with my time besides work and watch TV. I saw ice skating lessons being offered in the Green Sheet. I thought “Why not? That would be something entirely different to anything else I had attempted before.” So, I signed up for the couple of months of group lessons. Overcoming my fear of falling took a few months, but after that, I felt exhilaration on the ice. Once again, as with music later, I pretty much learned on my own how to skate by watching the better skaters do their thing. My progress has generally been slow (in most things), but I don’t mind. My enjoyment is in the learning (not completely and solely in the achieving). That probably seems strange (maybe foolish) to most people, but it is natural for me. Now during my years of skating, there have been times when I have really liked it and other times when I was just not interested in it. I don’t know why I’ve felt that way, but I have always just gone with the flow. I have skated, on and off, for several years. [The last time I skated was in 2017.]
A side note on my self-learning: I think I’m an okay teacher; I’m just not always a very good student.
Learning Social Activities
During the years, I have tried a few social activities and have gotten much enjoyment from them. I spent a few years trying to learn to dance (starting with Disco (for me, Fiasco) in 1979) before I finally found the right teachers (in 1984). Those teachers turned out to be Rick Archer, the owner of the original SSQQ dance studio on Bissonnet St in the city of Bellaire, Texas and Judy Price, Rick #1 assistant. Once that happened, I “took off.” That is, I devoted much time to learning all about dancing. I began writing detailed notes after each class and practicing as much as possible at the practice dances. My fear of asking a woman to dance with me gradually diminished as my self-confidence grew.
A side note: I wish to thank three wonderful women – Pat, Diane, and Linda – who took an interest in me just enough to get me to get on the dance floor. Without their urging and their dancing with me, I would have taken much longer to gain a confidence in my new ability.
But everything can have a downside (followed by an upside). I took dance lessons for four years without a break before I became “brain boggled” and disgusted with dancing altogether. I had overdone my effort. If I had taken a month or two off now and then during the four years, I would not have reached the point where I became mentally exhausted. But I continued with each new lesson because I did not want to get behind my classmates. I felt very sad that I no longer cared for dancing. But thankfully, as some time passed, I gradually began to return to the practice dances. I did not enroll in any classes – I just danced for fun with the existing knowledge I had. That proved adequate because I could dance to all of the songs I had danced to when I had taken the classes. So, I danced East Coast Swing, Jitterbug, Two-Step, Polka, C&W Waltz, Cha Cha, and a few line dances to boot. [During those four years, I also tried Foxtrot, Latin Hustle, Mambo, Tango, and Rhumba. I can just barely remember one or two moves of Tango; the others, I don’t have any recollection of. I’m sure I can say with confidence, I was not good at any of them.] But one dance that I did become pretty good at was Whip (because I took classes for three years of it). Whip is a dance moved to a slow-to-moderate blues song and having quick, flashy turns for the woman. It is rhythmic, smooth, and eye-catching. The guy’s part is just to be there, providing the leads; the woman gets to “show off” if she wants to undulate more than what is called for by the dance. Getting back on the dance floor was great fun once again, and I began to get revived. I have now danced for more than thirty years, and still do now and then with my wife. In fact, I met my wife at a dance practice. See Wife for the details, or see How I Met My Wife for the full story.
Click here to see a list of all of the dance classes I have taken.
Music
Along the way (around 1981), I tried to learn something about music (since my grandfather on my dad’s side made and played violins in his day). I decided to learn the guitar. Why not? I bought an inexpensive acoustic guitar and some books and, with a friend’s help now and then, I began to learn where the individual notes are on the instrument. During the two years I practiced, I also had to learn how to read sheet music (which I did just enough to get by). I didn’t mind that task because I looked at it as just another obstacle to overcome. Well, I never got very good at the guitar, but it was fun for a couple of years.
A few years later, I began to try to learn to play the piano (since that sound is so nice, when made by a skilled person). I hit pay dirt in a teaching aid one day when I went to a music store and found a computer program that a company, called Voyetra, had created. The program is called Teach Me Piano, and the reason it is so good for me is that I can hook it up to my old PC, and it will monitor the notes I hit (or miss). It is sort of like learning touch typing (but for me, much more difficult).
I had been working with the program for about a year when I was talking with my neighbor one day and she told me about her mother’s playing of the piano years ago. She said that her mother learned the piano by practicing four or five hours each day. Well, I had been practicing about 15-30 minutes a day. Quite a difference. I think that if I look closely, I can see a reason for my lack of progress (I won’t mention my lack of basic talent). But before I was able to return to practicing, I became interested in the Tai Chi web project. See My Professional Life (A New Project) for more about that.
I returned to learning to play the piano (attempt #2) in 2016. That lasted a couple of years; I got busy with something else again.
And once again, in June 2020, (for attempt #3) I tried to become “master of the keyboard.” Well, once again, I got busy / interested in something else after about six months; this time, though, my interest was in learning WordPress (the software I have used to build this blog)!
I don’t know when I will resume my piano practice, but I sincerely hope to try again someday.
P.S.
There have been times when I have become quite frustrated with my efforts to try to make my fingers hit just the right keys (not two keys at once and not the key next to the one I am aiming for). Sometimes, I vent my dissatisfaction with myself by “pounding the keyboard” during a lesson. Here’s an example of one such time.
Square Dancing and New Friends
Quite a few years ago (in early 1991), I became interested in Square Dancing. I believe I heard about it from one of the girls at the SSQQ dance studio. I think that sometimes God puts people together for their mutual enjoyment (and maybe His pleasure). I say that because I met a married couple in our Square Dance circle who became two of my best friends. The three of us soon met a woman and her daughter, who joined our circle, and we all became good friends. We all met some more people, and all of us became good friends as a result. Altogether, at least twenty-five of us were good friends with each other. We spent several years together as members of a Square Dance club. Our club was called the Southwest Sundowners. We learned the dance moves from Jerry McMicken and Ray Secrist. We danced at other clubs (that’s the custom in Square Dancing) and had other clubs come to our location. We kept abreast of what was happening thru the “Where n’ When” publication. We had a great time decorating for a special dance when it was our turn. When not dancing, we had fun playing card games or other parties at each other’s houses. Some of us went to Atlanta, Georgia in September 1991 for the 21st National Dance-A-Rama. At first I thought what am I doing; I don’t have that much experience with square dancing. But I did alright after all. We went on camping trips now and then. We went to Galveston and square danced on a ferry and in a large closet and any place we could. We all enjoyed each other’s company to the hilt. Those were some of the best years I’ve ever had.
A side note: after I finished the Mainstream lessons, I (and several of my friends) began taking the next level of classes (the Plus lessons). Unfortunately, I did not graduate from the Plus classes because my job caused me to miss the last two lessons. I was certainly disappointed with that because I always like to finish anything I start. But such is life.
On a personal note, I am happy that I met a girl by the name of Kathi and her brother John. Kathi is the one who told me about square dancing lessons. Based on her enthusiasm with that activity, I ventured out and went to the place where the lessons were going to be taught. Glad I did. John was helpful too because he was training to be a caller himself.
Right and Left Hand Activity
In 2010 I bought memberships at a local gym for my wife and me. My better half preferred the sauna and some of the equipment. I concentrated on racquetball. I didn’t take lessons; I just went into the room and hit the ball as many times as I could before I either could not reach it in time or I ran out of breath. I liked the activity because it involved vigorous movements (and back then, I had quite a bit of energy). At any rate, I could pace myself, when needed; I never played against anyone while learning.
I renewed my membership each year for a few years until the gym converted the two rooms for racquetball into Pilates’ use (or something like that). Since I wasn’t interested in Pilates, I let my membership run out.
A side note: when I began to learn how to ice skate, I decided to learn every spin both clockwise and counterclockwise and every jump from my left leg and from my right leg. I wanted to be ambidextrous with something in life.
So, when I started playing racquetball, I thought why not try to use both arms? That would let me play longer and also perhaps get more strength in my left arm. I got to the point where I could hit the ball with about the same skill level with either arm. I could put the ball pretty much where I wanted it to go, and I could then anticipate where it would land. Rather skillful, I thought of myself.
However, a few years later, a friend of mine suggested we play some games at the gym he went to. I thought this might be a disaster in the making because he seemed confident and was also quite tall. Well, I was right. He could bounce the ball off the walls, and I could not figure out in time where it was going to land. I missed point after point. I got winded too soon. Also, I could not hit the ball where he could not react to it properly. We played only a few times over the course of a month. Each game was lopsided in the score. He finally gave up (on me). He was nice in that he told me something about him getting behind in his work. I understood.
P.S.
I have not taken up racquetball since then because the gym closest to me does not have a court any more, and I have been involved in other activities. However, if the local gym ever announces racquetball is available again, I plan to start being active with that again.
Skiing the Slopes
I also had the opportunity to snow ski several years ago. I found that skiing was more thrilling than ice skating (which was my most fun sport). Unfortunately, skiing costs much more than skating, and I can ski only once a year. Nevertheless, I enjoyed each ski trip like I could not have imagined enjoying them. Nice people and beautiful scenery. Invigorating, especially when on the top of a mountain.
Books
Years ago, I spent time with the Dummy books on Windows, Access, and Excel. Those are okay if one is at the absolute base level with that software, but other books are needed to really get into the neat stuff. One IT book especially comes to mind. That is Peter Norton’s Inside the PC, Seventh Edition. It is one of the best IT books I have ever read.
When I was a teenager, I loved science fiction stories, biographies about Abraham Lincoln, the Guinness Book of World Records, the World Almanac, and a few other types of books. Later in life, my interests changed somewhat. For example, I have always been a fan of Elvis Presley and have read several books about him. Over the last ten years or so, I have read mostly technical books about the home computer and databases and programming languages. Pretty dry at times, but I still like it. Occasionally I would almost have to force myself to read a novel. Jean M. Auel’s books are great. Poems and stories by Edgar Allan Poe are superb. Some Sherlock Holmes stories are good. Dante’s The Inferno – great!
Once in a blue moon, I get the desire to study Algebra again. That is a subject that has always been kind of fun for me. I will find a good book (that is, one that explains the solutions in a clear manner) and work the problems. That makes me happy.
More recently, I decided (finally, after several years of procrastinating) to study Calculus. [My B.S. degree is in Math; Calculus, naturally, was one of the major subjects for me.] It had always bothered me that I did not understand the subject good enough. I looked at my old college books and thought, yuck! Those are too hard. So, to the Half Price book store I went. I found (guess what) a Dummy’s book on Calculus. That book was Calculus for Dummies by Mark Ryan. Mr. Ryan explained the concepts clearly. I later bought another Dummy’s-type book, Calculus for the Utterly Confused, Second Edition by Robert Oman, PhD and Daniel Oman, PhD. I had found another jewel. Then, to complete my yearning for the subject, I searched for one more book. I found The Calculus Problem Solver by the staff of Research and Education Association, Dr. H. Weisbecker, Chief Editor. That book is composed of problems (with written-out solutions) for all types of Calculus problems. Almost 1,200 solved problems! What a find! I went thru the first 270 problems before I grew too tired to do more. By that time, I had studied about three months straight and felt more comfortable with my Calculus journey.
What was the purpose of my studying that subject at my (older) age? Am I going to build some bridges? Will I calculate rocket paths? Might I buy paint in huge quantities to cover old, gigantic buildings? Many other questions might be posed, but my answer is this: Enjoyment in life is doing things we enjoy doing. So there!
Tai Chi
In June of 2011, my wife Angi heard about an exercise called Tai Chi (Zenobics Tai Chi). She told me about it and expressed an interest in seeing what it is all about. It turned out to be more of a fitness regime than an exercise workout. We discovered that all of the motions are done slowly, enabling the body to get the most benefit from the movements. Tai Chi has 108 forms and is taught over the course of a year. Several people (some, who I know personally) have reported health benefits from doing the forms.
I don’t have any health problems that Tai Chi is known for remedying, but I feel that Tai Chi might be beneficial to me in some way that I’m not aware of.
Angi and I began the lessons just to see how the motions felt and to see if we might want to continue with the activity. After a few months, Angi decided she wanted to try another activity, but I stayed with Tai Chi. I have now completed the course eight times (as of September 2019) and plan to continue with the group. I wrote many notes at home after each class about doing the forms, and I update my notes as needed. Go to Zenobics Tai Chi for the information about Tai Chi. Most of the people in the location where I took my lessons are Vietnamese, and most of the people in class speak English, so we all get along quite well. They are a very nice group of people, and I feel comfortable in that environment. We (as a class) go to celebrations and anniversaries and picnics throughout the year. [Due to the Coronavirus problem, the last time I attended a lesson was in March 2020.]
Something of lasting value: The Bible
Of recent times, my interest in reading has shifted to include the Bible. Sadly, I did not read the Bible most of my life. But one evening, I met my future wife at one of the practice dances. As our relationship developed, she asked me questions about Christianity and me. I told her I had gone to a Baptist church when I was thirteen or so years old. I had gone for about two years when I lost interest in what the preacher was talking about. (I don’t know if the church topics became dull to me or if my new school subjects became more interesting to me.) At any rate, during my time at church, I accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior and was baptized. Sometimes after that, I stopped going to church. From that point till the time when I met Angi, I did not attend any church (or read the Bible) except on rare occasions. I was too busy learning my programming trade and other activities (to try to give myself more confidence).
I was basically a happy person; just not an active Christian. But Angi provided the path, one that I had been unconsciously seeking for many years, that turned my life around and let me be truly happy. I have strengthened my Christianity by going to our church (The Vineyard Church in Stafford, TX) and by reading different bibles. I have listened to The Listener’s Bible by Max McLean (a set of 66 CDs). For that, I would put on one of the CDs each morning and listen for about fifteen minutes while I ate my breakfast. I made it through the entire Bible in one year. On the actual reading side, I have read some of the King James Bible and most or all of the NIV (New International Version), the Quest, and the Message, and some of the Good News Bible. (But even with all of that, I don’t think I could answer many questions put to me about bible topics. It has been quite a while since I read much in any bible.) But, the more I read the Bibles, the more I am appreciative for being alive and having the desire and ability to experience and enjoy different activities in life. I thank the Lord for giving me my health and good fortune in so many ways. We are truly wonderful creations of God.
Frequent Fun
And on the health side, I try to take a walk several times each week (usually about 30-40 minutes). I used to go to the gym and play racquet ball by myself or shoot some baskets, but I don’t have a membership anymore (the gym turned the racquet ball court into a room for some other use). The treadmills and other equipment didn’t interest me, and so I did not renew my membership. My gosh, just my normal yard work is often plenty of a workout for me.
I do some things now with my wife that I infrequently did when I was single. Things like socializing with our friends (previously, I had only a few friends, and my few friends and I rarely got together), going to concerts and plays, volunteering once in a while at church and at non-profit organizations, and occasionally going on road trips. I volunteer my time a little each month by helping a couple of blind guys with things they need. Those guys live in different parts of town, but I don’t mind the driving.
All-in-all, I think my life is a pretty good balance between things that I like doing and things that I have to do, things that are educational and things that are pleasant, things that are hard to do and things that are fun to do. I am happy each day when I awake, and I usually have something I want to “check out” that day. It really is a wonderful life.